Let us say that you have had sleepless nights over this big project proposal and when the day finally came, you were exhausted but gave your best and still did not crack the deal. What will you feel after this? Disappointment? Angry, or some extent of it? But what if someone comes to you and says, don’t be disappointed, it was a lesson, and you should move on. Well, this is toxic positivity. You have indeed spent a great deal of time on the project, and you expected results in return, and it is most natural that you will be disappointed when you do not receive the results as anticipated. Dismissing your emotion at that particular moment in the name of having a ‘positive outlook‘ of life is toxic.
Having a positive outlook on life is always a good thing, and we do not deny that, but life is not always positive. Is it? We all have to deal with our share of pain and negative emotions. And even though these are unpleasant feelings, they need to be equally accepted and acknowledged as positive ones. Toxic positivity overgeneralizes all emotions that are not happy or positive to the extent that the word ‘optimism’ loses its meaning and human emotions are more than happy and cheerful.
In a workplace, toxic positivity can be harmful; they make one’s efforts feel unseen, their emotion invalidated and unheard. It is considered verboten of one showing negative emotions in a workplace. When one gives a toxic positive comment, they do not do it to hurt the other person’s emotions or to dismiss their feelings completely. They say it is thinking that is the best thing to speak to someone at that moment. That is how okay we have got to the idea of toxic positivity. You cannot just go to someone sad and say, ‘Don’t be sad, and the person will stop being sad; it doesn’t work like that. Let us see how this can be avoided if not completely eliminated.
Embracing Empathy
The pandemic has caused many of the population to lose their jobs and a greater go furlough. Things have been difficult for all, and if an employee comes to their boss expressing their financial difficulty, they cannot just say ‘be thankful you still have a job‘ and dismiss the whole issue the employee approached the boss with. If there is anything the boss can do, like arranging overtime or a hike that is due or picking up an extra shift, the boss should help. But if there is nothing that they can do, they should offer their transparency and tell them upfront.
Building a Healthy Relationship
Building a healthy relationship will ensure that the employees give unbiased or transparent reviews. It is the most known human trait to hide negative emotions to prevent vulnerability and fragility. However, if these negative feelings are validated and understood, one should have no problem providing honest feedback.
Avoiding Aggressive Positivity
Aggressive positivity is another problem besides toxic positivity. While ‘Look on the brighter side’ still lets you look at the negative side and then move on from it, ‘Let’s keep the problems aside and focus our goal’ can wholly dismiss the idea of the negative feelings. The latter is aggressive positivity, and we do not want that at work. Of course, our goal at work is to focus on the goal, but instead of saying ‘Let’s keep the problems aside and focus on our goal,’ we can take the middle ground saying, ‘If you have any problems come to me and we will discuss this so that we can reach our desired goal.’
The idea of toxic positivity has been inculcated in our daily habits without realizing it. It did not form overnight ad it will not go away overnight. But if we check what we are saying and how we are saying it, then we have a fair chance of avoiding it.
